by Georgina Armstrong
I’ve been working remotely with people from many nations for more than six years and it has been a fantastic learning experience in so many ways. While this style of work comes with some challenges, if you approach it with care, it can be a true joy. Everything I’ve learned so far (sometimes the hard way) boils down to a few communication themes:
- Treating your colleagues well when you have the language advantage
- Being mindful when using idioms and analogies across cultures
- Using emojis with care
- Handling disagreements thoughtfully across different cultures
Congratulations: your language is the primary one in your workplace
If your daily meetings happen in your mother tongue, you almost certainly don’t realize how lucky you are. My international colleagues over the years have had the tremendous grace to speak to me in the language I use at home, in school, to swear at anyone who cuts me off in traffic, and to write this article for you. I’ve saved a lot of time not having to learn Italian, Norse, Chinese, Hebrew, Polish or Lithuanian to talk to my team, and that means that the VERY least I can do is:
- Learn and practice how to say everyone’s name (reasonably) correctly
- Spell that name correctly too, including any special punctuation, every time
- Speak normally, just ten percent slower, while fully pronouncing each word
- Leave out the fancy words that made me the cleverest kid in tenth grade because ostentatious perspicacity helps no one
Emojis are your best ally, as long as you’re right about what they mean
When a lot of your collaborative work happens in writing, you have to make every effort to make sure it comes across with the right tone. GPT models can be a great help in checking your tone, but the proper emojis will do a lot of the work for you.
I had an amazing colleague in Spain many years back, and she would respond to many posts and messages with the grimacing face: 😬
After several months of this I figured she was an anxious, stressed kind of woman, but I finally asked her outright: “What does that emoji mean to you?”
She told me it was a happy smile and her use of it was normal, at least in Spain? I was delighted to learn yet another example of how different cultures express themselves differently…except that was not the case.
She messaged me a few hours later to share that no, this was not a “Spanish” thing, just a long-term personal misunderstanding, and, according to her friends and partner, it had created some awkward feelings when she responded to birthday wishes, and even pictures of her friend’s new baby, with a grimace. Yikes 😬
Now, I can feel smug telling that story, but even I got into some trouble with the slightly smiling face 🙂. One of my data scientists, who'd just turned 30, informed me that what I’d thought to be the safest, gentlest emoji out there is seen as “passive aggressive” among his peers. “But it’s ok," he said. “Everyone understands that the older generations don’t use it that way.”
Extremely cool to hear as a forty year old.
Anyway. Emojis are incredibly useful, providing your colleagues important clues about how what you wrote should be received. You should DEFINITELY check on Emojipedia to be sure that they mean what you think they do.
Even your most common idioms are not universal
We had a data science model recently that we used to predict the optimal range of marketing spend. A few folks were calling it a “traffic light” model, but I kept pointing out that actually it was a “Goldilocks Zone” model, telling us where the spend level is just right. I was too pleased with the model to notice that everyone else continued to call it “traffic light,” until it finally dawned on me that I hadn’t checked whether anyone else knew what on Earth I was talking about.
I had assumed that Goldilocks was universal enough in Europe, but ZERO of my six colleagues had understood what I was saying because, while every single one knew about the little girl and the three bears, all of them had grown up with other names for her (she goes by Auksaplaukė in Lithuania). Once I shared a handy diagram – and went round the room of stakeholders discovering what Goldilocks is called where they are from – we were all on the same page at last.
This happens to me a few times a year – past experiences include “upset the apple cart” and “needle in a haystack.” These idioms pop out unthinkingly when you’re a native English speaker, and we also tend to say them quickly. The rest of your colleagues may not want to stop your flow to clarify – most likely they’re hoping to figure out what you meant from context clues, especially if they are less senior. Monitor yourself for idioms! Use them by all means, but always stop to check and explain. It’s often a DELIGHTFUL bonding experience to find out what the equivalent idiom is in other languages. A personal favourite is “nekabink makaronų (ant ausų)” or “don't hang pasta (on the ears).” In Lithuania, this effectively means “don't lie” or “don't try to deceive.”
Cultural conflict differences
No one culture is “bad” at conflict, but we sure do have different approaches. Any healthy work environment will include disagreements, but it’s smart to avoid high emotions and/or defensive reactions. If you are working remotely, you probably have no idea what kind of day someone is having, or how your hastily typed Slack message will be received. If you get an answer at all, it may well be angry, and now there will be defenses to dismantle on both sides before you can have a useful conversation. I find it best to speak face to face if possible so that I can use all the social signaling in my voice and facial expression to convey that I respect my colleague, that this is a friendly discussion, and that we are on the same team.
I also find it helpful to avoid speaking in hard binary terms. If you say things such as, “he’s wrong, the numbers are wrong, the code is wrong,” that sets up a conflict. Now, many cultures will say that this is the most honest way to speak: they are “telling it like it is,” or “not sugarcoating,” no deception or games. I have tremendous respect for those values, but saying, “I think I would do it differently, and here’s why,” is no less honest. When you frame a discussion in terms of curiosity, not war, people are more open to share and learn. This is how the best solutions are found, and it also lets everyone leave the situation with their dignity intact. Frankly it is also in my own interests – on more than one occasion I’ve started this kind of conversation only to discover that I was the one with the wrong approach, and been very glad that I left myself a graceful exit strategy.
Working across a multi-lingual, multicultural organization can feel chaotic and alienating, or it can be absolutely delightful – your care and empathy for your colleague’s experience are what will make the difference. But don’t hang pasta on anyone’s ears.